Not so much about weight loss

I've been pretty sucky at keeping up with my weight loss journal.  Jimmy decided we couldn't afford WW anymore, but no worries i am still losing weight, i just need to start exercising.  I've started cutting meat out of my diet.  I limit myself to one serving of meat a week and actually that's more of a mind thing because i've found when i go to eat meat i am nauseous for the rest of the day/evening. 
My personal life has been crap.  I've tried really hard to not post anything too personal on the family blog, but i figured only a few people know about this one and i need to start writing down my feelings or they will eat me alive.
I am having a ridiuclously hard time right now.  I am not too sure if i want to stay in my marriage and feel the same way about church.  I hate where my life is right now and am just wishing it would all change.  I've tried to clue Jimmy in several times to how i feel about church and us, but he is very dismissive and ultimately thinks that i am just a shitty person and that if i think i am the only one who is unhappy i am sadly mistaken, but to suck it up and deal like everyone else.  My problem with that is if everyone is so darn unhappy, why then would that be acceptable?!  I am unhappy and i don't want to be!  I don't want to be stuck in a miserable situation because everyone else is.  That makes absolutely no sense to me!
We went to the Bishop last week and the first thing that was asked was if i had sought medical attention for depression.  Um, how about my depression is being caused by the situations i am in and NOT the other way around.  I was not so pleased with our meeting.  However, i did go to a doctor today to get a prescription for an anti depressant.  I've been put on Pristiq (50 mg).  I know that i am depressed and i know that if i want some relief in my everyday life i need to get emotionally stable enough to handle whatever is to come next.  Fingers crossed.

On the road again...

Joined WW last Tuesday (30th) and weighed in at 170.6, couldn't weigh in this Tuesday because i was taking Pat to the airport, so i went this morning. I lost 1 pound!! I also did the Shred this morning, go me!

Well at least i'm doing something

Today is Day 4 of no soda. I am trying really hard to have some sort of control. I think for now i am just going to try and eat better, then when i get back from SC i will start on the physical aspect of losing weight. My Dr. veto'd my running because of my knee :o(, he said if i continue to run on the pavement i will be looking at knee replacement surgery by the time i'm 30. No thanks :o(

Geez this is getting ridiculous!

I took pictures. I will not post them until i have done the Shred for 30 days or i will cry. I am starting yet again tomorrow (although i blame AF for stopping). I am going to start on Level 2 though because i am beyond sick of Level 1. Wish my fat a$$ luck!

Day 4/Level 1

Oops! Ike had an early appt (8:30a) and it involved getting his 6 month shots. Not a chance in he!! that i would have been able to do the video, but i will do it twice tomorrow!

Food Log:
100 cal yogurt - 2 pts
1 hardboiled egg - 2 pts
1 turkey sandwich - 6 pts
Grapes - 1 pt
FiberOne Bar - 2 pts
Chicken (grilled) - 3 pts
Veggies (mixed) - 1 pt
Rice - 3 pts
Ice cream (light) - 3 pts
Coke Zero - 0 pts
Water (96 oz!!!) - 0 pts

23 Points Total (yay that's as many Points as i am supposed to have!)

Day 3/Level 1

Oh my heck i wanted to cry! My legs were burning, but my arms were KILLING ME! I gladly would have hacked them off if i could, i bet it woulda hurt less. At least i did it :o)

Food Log:

Happy Easter!

I indulged a lot. Steak, mashed potatoes, bread, asparagus, bacon and eggs and toast and lots and lots of Peeps :o)

Day 2/Level 1

Whew!

Did it, everything hurt during the video, but man hours later i am SORE! It hurts to sit, to stand back up yuck. Plus i helped a little with the lawn work (i raked the clippings and bagged them). Ouch!

Food Log:
1 Tortilla Soup from Taco Bueno
1 Beef Taco from TB
1 Medium Coke
3 (yes 3, they were good too!) cheesecake chimmichungas
1 small meat loaf (i divide into 4ths)
1 handfull (a big handful) of sweet potato fries (thanks to Lorelei that has me hooked on these things!)

I only drank 64 oz of water :o(

Day 1/Level 1

Ouch! My arms are shaking like crazy and my legs are just jello. Ouch ouch ouch, but i did it!! Yipee! I really like Jillian, love her on Biggest Loser and she is the same way on this video. However, Natalie cheats! :o)

Drank all 96 oz of water and another 16 ounce bottle on top of that! No soda and i had to pee ALL DAY LONG!
I snacked a lot of the day and i chalk that up to skipping breakfast (never good!).

Food Log:
20 Peanut Butter Pretzels (but soooo good, lol)
3 hard boiled eggs (yikes, but really hard to resist when dying Easter Eggs, lol)
1 cup Popcorn (not so bad, but it's not the healthy kind of popcorn)
1/2 bag of M&Ms (could NOT be helped, it is *that* time)
1/2 serving of fried rice, veggies and orange chicken (i made a recipe for 2 and ate 1/4 of what i made)

It begins!

My friends from the Nest are doing the 30 Day Shred with me! Some of the girls started while i was in FL, but that's okay, i am only 10 days behind :o) I plan on doing this video everyday for the next 30 days and then will reevaluate what to do for exercise after that. I will also be doing a lose version of WW on my own. I still have my old materials and basically it's just me trying to make better food choices.

Stats:
Weight: 172.8
Right Arm: 13 1/2 inches
Left Arm: 13 inches
Waist: 40 inches (holy crap 40 INCHES!!!)
Hips: 41 inches
Right Leg: 25 inches
Left Leg: 24 inches
Size: 12 (although some 12's are big, but the 10's are just too small)

This week's Goals:
* Drink 96 oz of water a day (bought a BPA Free Reuseable water bottle, go me!)
* Do 30 Day Shred!
* For 3 days simply log what i eat/drink, then for the rest of the week stay within my Points alotment

Bigger Goals:
* Run 1/2 Marathon for Cowtown next year!
* Size 6 (oh how i've missed you!)

Not doing great

So i thought that i wouldn't need this blog to lose weight, well guess who hasn't lost weight in the past 3 months? I've actually gained weight! My official weigh in this morning was/is 173.0. Sooo not cool. I've signed up for another 5k, it's on April 18th at the Fort Worth Zoo. I am going to train MUCH more and i am hoping that i can improve my time. I also want to do my 30 day shred video everyday for the next 30 days. Not sure if anyone reads this or not, but i would love a running/workout buddy, Jimmy refuses and i am not strong enough to do this myself. Please? :)